Well here I am again a year later feeling pretty awful wondering if this will be the year I crack this God dammed awful illness. I say crack, just a slight improvement would be quite refreshing. I had the Botox injections nearly three weeks ago. I was so caught up in what may or may not happen after the procedure I hadn’t really considered what it involved. 31 injections into your head isn’t exactly pleasant but most normal people would have figured that out before having it done. I clearly remember having the first one and thinking ‘that pangs a bit – oh well only another 30 to go’. All in all it doesn’t even nearly compare to dealing with MAV on a daily basis. I told my consultant I’d inject it into my own eyeballs if I thought it would do something positive – he didn’t suggest it.

So Christmas has been a bit of blur to be honest, too preoccupied by thoughts about if this treatment will be the one to actually do something. I’m so all over the place I don’t know whether to cry, scream or just drive straight to Beachy Head (as if I could even get myself there!)!

At least you know the JobCentre can always be relied upon to bring good will to all men over Christmas. Threatening to stop my benefits two days before Christmas because I have been too ill to attend a mandatory course is almost funny – I had been kind of trying to tell them this. I did have a lovely Christmas day with my family you can’t beat playing ‘Who Am I?’ after a few glasses of champagne. My lemon tart went down quite well – good old Mary Berry!

Anyway, although life has been extra hard of late I guess I have to remain positive that things will change. Fingers crossed that this plan works 😉

Yes, this is what I now look like – amazing stuff Botox 😉