Yes not that catchy really, can’t see that taking off!

It was hard going trip. On the positive on the way out the plane had hardly any people on it so we were spoilt by the cabin crew. On the negative I got a migraine. On the positive we got through security and out of the airport in record time. On the negative the hotel we had only chosen because it had a bar and a pool – well both were closed. On the positive there was a health food shop opposite with a bar in it – only in America!

The clinic seemed to think I was doing well (hard to comprehend when you’ve been in bed/on sofa for six months, just had a migraine and had been in a wheelchair the day before) so they are reducing my protocol and hopefully my own immune system will kick in and take up the slack. They seemed pretty positive so I guess I have to go along with their plan and trust in their wealth of experience. My GP and I both think I’m deteriorating (I am – that’s a fact) and that my body is not coping with the drugs so he wanted less drugs to be taken too. So on the one hand I’m reducing drugs because I’m getting better versus the other hand where I’m reducing the drugs as I’m getting worse and need a break if that makes sense? I really hope that the clinic is right and prove my GP and I wrong.

I have been told to be more glass half full about this but anyone who has followed my blog for any length of time will know I’ve been at this kind of point hundreds (mini exaggeration) of times before and each time I get let down it’s taking me longer and longer to pick myself up again. I certainly need more brains (what’s left of mine needs an upgrade!), more courage to continue on with this never ending battle, more heart to stop the jealousy and ‘why me?’ that I just can’t shake off and that my doctor isn’t just a ventriloquist – it’s ok he never brings in a puppet!

I started the new reduced protocol (looks like it – practically needed a suitcase to take away my drugs from the pharmacy!) yesterday so please God let them be right – I really badly want to believe them.

So at the end of the consultation I wish I could have just tapped my heals together and been in my own bed. There is no place like home, there is no place like home – especially when you feel rubbish 🙂