Well since that appointment things have been extra tough. I think I’ve been pretty much asleep ever since DC. My mobility is getting worse and worse and I’m spending even more time in bed or on the sofa than I was before the appointment. I think of what I’m going through is due to the fact I’m reducing my neuro medications but you can never quite tell when there is so much going on, there are far too many variables to be sure. I was on really high (maximum) doses of a couple of drugs and now I’m trying to reduce them and it’s proving to be really hard – my body is not happy at all! I feel I need to join Ant in rehab – at least he could make me laugh about it!

On my quest to find answers on how to deal with this living hell I went and ordered every secondhand self help book that has ever been recommended by anyone. They are currently piled up on the coffee table looking like the leaning tower of Pisa.

Most of them just piss me right off if I’m being honest. Dealing with a chronic illness which may or may not resolve isn’t really covered by most books. Think I may write my own! One book was recommended by a friend, I won’t mention the actual title as I wouldn’t want to put anybody off reading it. Someone else may get real benefit from it as its definitely not a one size fits all with these types of books. It was about how you have to basically chill out, wish for what you really want and the universe will look after you. Well, that very quickly got launched across the room with me shouting ‘no it bloody doesn’t!’. I think I’ve reached a new low point when I’m having a go at a book, that’s clearly not doing what it says on the tin. The only book that I found to help me with my frustrations was ‘The Art of Happiness’ by the Dali Lama. There are really simple suggestions and observations that have made me feel less frustrated and helped me a bit with acceptance of my circumstances. I mean, not totally – it’s a work in progress.

I have now updated my list of which three people I’d have at a dinner party. It’s now James Corden, Adele and the Dali Lama, I think we would have a really good laugh!

With the Dali Lama in mind I stumbled across a Buddhist monastery (not literary I used Google) not too far from me that where they give meditation workshops. Now if you’d told me a few years back that I’d be taught by a monk in a temple how to meditate I’d think you’d taken some sort of hallucinogenic drug and suggest YOU go to rehab! I never would have done this if I hadn’t got sick, not in a million years.

The workshop was lovely. It was so peaceful in this beautiful temple surrounded by amazing scenery. There were about 60 of so people there, all ages, races and backgrounds and it was so quiet. There was something really calming about it, being surrounded by this huge group of people who want to learn to meditate for what ever reason they may have for exploring it. I’ll try and go again at some point. You won’t catch me in orange robes though – red heads don’t do orange 😉

I take that back, some red heads can!